Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Shitshow foam night was such a success
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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