I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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