She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
well most of my day revolves around power hour
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
