Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
