when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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