Jerry, you need to find god
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
