You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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