I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
