we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
