Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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