I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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