my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
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I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
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