I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize