I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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