hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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