i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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