Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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