i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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