I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I need water and some morals
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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