you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
