smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
