I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
