Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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