how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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