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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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