I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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