We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
