Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
