I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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