I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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