I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
