i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
As shirtless as possible
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
