HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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