Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize