How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
