why didn't you poke me back
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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