This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
