i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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