Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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