i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
