69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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