Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
