i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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