Porn is love you can see.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
