Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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