no you cant smoke seaweed
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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