I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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