You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She bit a glass in half.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize