just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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