you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
