Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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