How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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