Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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