We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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