You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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