did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
MIDGETS
????
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
