I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
