I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
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