She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
