so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
