Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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