Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it's great music for shaving your balls
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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