shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
be right there i have to get my cape
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
