Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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