Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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