North Korea, Best Korea!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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