It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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